Believe me, I’m not a spoiled man-child! A gift is a gift, right? We are to accept it. We are to take what we are given, not what we want to be given. Beggar’s can’t be choosers, unless they beg in Liberty Market, where they can be choosers! Anyways, with that said, here are some gifts that have disappointed me time & time again:
1- Clothes: Actually I’m going to be honest with you. I don’t mind getting clothes now that I live by myself. The more I have, the better I feel. However, when I was a child and someone gave me clothes, I used to get extremely upset. I remember it was Eid and I believe I was 5 years old when someone very near & dear brought over a big box all wrapped up in shiny paper. I was super excited. That person was catered to (by my parents) while I sat across from her & stared at that box because I just knew it was for me. Then she said the magic words. “Look what I got you!” Of course I was excited. There were little tiny penguins jumping around inside my belly. I hopped over like a little kangaroo as she took the liberty to unwrap the present herself. My present. Out came an ugly little outfit fit for a midget farmer. This was my reaction.
2- DVD’s: That was cool like back in 2003 maybe when DVD’s were like Tupac’s hologram and no one had them but seriously? I’m a pirate now. I download all my movies. I sell them off if someone is still silly enough to buy them. You bring me that DVD and it’s about as good as bringing me a stone tablet from back in Moses days. I don’t want it. Chances are I’ve already seen it. I do collect DVD’s though so, I’m not sure about this one either. I’ll take it I guess, I don’t know.
3- Calculator: Ok, here is another case where my parents have taught me better than that but I can’t help it so I’m going to get this off my chest. It was my high school graduation and I was at the local Islamic center where they always do this thing with graduating children, right? Anyways, they called my name up and have me like a $25 check along with a dollar store calculator. I was disappointed. I had a TI-84 Plus at home, I needed it for calc. Anyways, I walked out and punted it. Yes, literally punted it. Then all my friends joined in, that was fun. Here is what a punt kick looks like. Watch the guy all the way on the left mmkay?
4- Pens: I hate pens, except for the one that my fiancée gave me, which I love very much! I’m keeping that one. Not because I want to stay alive, but because I love that pen. It’s a Parker and it’s made of awesome things and it comes with a certificate. Everyone else that ever gave me a pen should have just given me cash instead, I could have bought food and groceries with it. It’s hard out here for a medical student. I don’t even know what I do with pens that people give me. Except for the one that my fiancée gave me. I saved it and I know where it is because I saved it. If you’re reading this, I wrote it with your pen. I love you 🙂 Thanks!
5- Hugs (and handshakes): Yes, I was once offered a hug for my birthday. It was my 14th. It was the best gift ever but that was the last time I accepted a hug as a gift. Everyone needs a hug every now and then. Not me. When I want a hug, I’ll ask for it because I know they are free. Plus I know how cute it looks when someone asks for or offers a free hug. I don’t accept them as gifts though. This is how I feel about hugs as gifts:
6- Gift Cards to awkward places: Here are a few places I’ve received gift cards for: Bath & Body works, McDonald’s, Pac Sun, some hobby store and Bed Bath & Beyond. Really? Bed, bath & beyond? What am I? Your mother?
7- Cologne/Perfume: Your choice sucks. I don’t want to smell like your choice all day, please don’t gift me any fragrances. The elderly always bring me something that smells like funeral homes and the young’n keep bringing me some fruity, branded beach crap. I don’t want it.
Well, that’s about it for the gifts I don’t want.
As for what I want… I’m still a child at heart. I loved playing with toys until I was like 15 maybe? We didn’t have internet until I was in 11th grade so the only form of indoor entertainment I had were books and toys. Well, the toys phase is long gone now (not really) but I do like gadgets. I’ll take anything with a button and/or a screen on it really. Wiring too, no mechanical crap please (unless it’s cool). Oh and I love books. I love receiving books as gifts because I can never go out and buy them. I can never decide which one I want to read. I hate eReaders because I love to collect the original books themselves, and you can always be sure I will read them no matter what they are. Let’s see, what else. Yeah I think that’s about it. Oh and coffee and tea bags are nice, but no Lipton & Red Label shit please. Actually don’t buy me coffee, you’ll fuck it up I know. Oh look, almost went a whole post without a gaali!