The Best Of: Pakistani Trends

All the pictures shown in this post are real. Faces were censored on purpose. You’re welcome, gentlemen.

Alright, I needed to lighten the mood a little and discuss some of my favorite trends in Pakistan. Here are a few things that have had me laughing and withering with embarrassment at the same time. Enjwoy, okay? Enjwoy with a dublew.

Boys in low cut V-necks:
Don’t even pretend. I know how much boys love this down here. Here is the breakdown: nobody wants to see your chest. Your mother is the only person in this world that has unconditional love for you no matter how you look, but even she doesn’t want to see your bony little chest. So, please put that away unless you REALLY hate girls and fashion both. I have a picture of a person in a V-neck with the forest of chest hair showing but that is too graphic for this blog. Honorable mentions in this category include:
-T shirts with hoodies (What the hell is the point of that? In case your hair get really cold? In summer?)
-T shirts with Gucci & Armani logos. (Newsflash: It’s not real!)      

Duck’s ass haircut:
Now you guys might be surprised to see this, but here is something that was in trend all last year. All the boys did this to the back of their heads. Honorable mentions under the haircut category include:
-Long hair (The phrase “long hair, don’t care” does not mean you never wash them and oil them in public).
-The straighteners (You went and paid 2000 rupees to look like Miley Cyrus when she was 12. Good job, retardo.)  

Tight jeans
Yeah, you guys look awesome and everyone wants to see the outline of your junk and count the flabs of fat on your ass. This may just be the answer to our population control problems. Tight jeans means no babies in your future gentlemen. Click that link. Bottom line being that you gotta stop! You are not the Jonas brothers. In case you didn’t know how ridiculous you look, there is a picture. Honorable mention:
-Making your non-baggy jeans LOOK baggy (As reason would have it, you pooped in them).

Names on cars:
This is the one trend I’m probably most peeved about. Let me ask you this: WHY? Why must you put your name on your car? Are you afraid that you might lose it? You think that someone won’t steal it if you put your name on it? Are you afraid that you will forget your own name, or what your car looks like? Did you just watch Fast & Furious and think “NOS” and “PIONEER” are actually the drivers names? Nope, it can’t be any of that right? The truth is, you just want to show off a little. You want people to know that this is your pretentious ass driving that shoebox you call a car. It’s lame. Put that shit away. No one does that. Honorable mention:
-Phrases on cars.

Stickers on bikes:
To save you the embarassment, I won’t talk too much about it. Just know that every time you PUT a sticker on your bike, this is what you’re saying.

As always, didn’t enjwoy it? Here’s your spud.









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